Happy Birthday to me

Today I get myself a birthday present. I cannot even remember when was the last time I received one from someone. 3 or 4 years ago, maybe? Apart from having achieved this double “4” digit year in my life, I think I so deserve it.

I am always the one to celebrate birthdays for others, to seek presents for them. I even organized food and gather friends to give a surprise birthday party to some. But when it comes to mine, nobody knows. “why don’t you remind them?” my friend suggests. But what is the meaning to remind others to wish me a happy birthday? It has to come from them.

Presents aside, this year is different from the past, probably because I am back in my home town. I was awarded with well wishes from a few friends. One even sang me a birthday song in local dialect over the phone (after I told him of my special day). My ex classmates invited me to a delicious Chinese Tim Sum lunch. Tonight, my 3 other friends are bringing me to a lobster steam boat. Oh my god ! Suddenly I wonder if I am being overly pampered.

I am not being materialistic. Neither am I interested in being the focal point of attention. It is just my desire to know how my friends value me. Is it too much to ask for once a year?

Less is more

Call me crazy, but I think the 21st century is all about less. Well, let's see :


Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labor - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our Boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less






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Rainy Saturday

There is thunder, there is lightning and there is a storm. I love it. Such a wonderful indulgence to sink oneself in bed, accompanied by the melody of the raindrops. The cool temperature is mesmerizing with a sedative effect. The bed linens becomes silkily soft and started to embrace me. Time has just halted.



I have no dates, no plans, no activity on a Saturday. It can rain as much as it wants, as long as it wants, I don’t care at all. Most people’s weekend plans are ruined due to the bad weather.


It‘s nice to know that there are many people staying at home due to this downfall, so I am not alone.  Call me bad hearted. My karma will come. I don’t care about that too.

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Good intentions gone bad

I end up seeking the companion of my computer. It is one of those nights when all sheep have been counted, twice. A foul stench of misery in the air suggests the excruciating torment’s plan to linger on for a longer while.

The later it grows, the more anguish it becomes. The droopier my eyes are, the clearer I see. Finally I get your point of view. You did not mean to tell me lies on purpose. You made up those stories in order not to hurt me. Well, your good intention backfired. I rather you tell me straight in the face. I will deal with it. Whereas this prolonged silence is eating me bit by bit, hammering a slow death. The sheep are running out. Can’t the dawn arrive sooner?

21ST CENTURY

There was a time not too long distant ago when the sky was blue and the water was green.

Beef can be consumed without fear.

Rats were afraid of cats, mouse were not attached to computers.

Delinquents were fearful of the police and murderers could not get away by clever lawyer.

Marriage was the fruit of love and divorce was not a profit making business.

Beauty of a woman was determined by her elegance and a man by his health.

Your status was acknowledged by your very own status and not the bags you carried.

Hair saloon took care only your hair

Medicine was meant for healing and doctors cured people

Photos were taken with clothes on.

Schools were not profit orientated.

Morons were not allowed to govern the country.

Monks practiced what they preached.

We answer the phone by asking “how are you?” instead of “where are you?”

….. and the list goes on…..

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COMEX'09

I went to the Comex 09. The biggest annual I T exhibition in Singapore. If not for my friend, I will never ever dream of going. You see, I am still living in stone age. Informatics technology ? Huhh? what is that?

Judging from the crowd, there must be 10% of the nation’s population present, mostly youngsters. There were some people of my age, who were there to sign cheque or pay for the items their children bought. In another words, they were the bankers.


Like the mobile phone, I T is part of the 21st century's  human life that one cannot live without. It is essential to update, update and update. Amid 10 years later than everyone else, I am doing some updating too. Because finally, I bought a web cam. Don't you laugh at me. That is a big step for a stone aged guy.

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Nursing her

How many times do I need to bear this before it comes to an end?

How many suffering is required before happiness is accorded?

How many obstacles needed to be hurdled before eternal can be reached?

Eventually all hopes are given up because there is no logic to follow. Not every effort will be rewarded. Like water, the harder you grasp, the less you capture. Try clenching your fingers less tightly, chances are you may get a spoon of water. But if you grab harder, there won’t be even a tiny drop.

Maybe the trick is to cope things day by day. There is so much to learn everyday. Learning not to cry is one of them.

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Volka anyone?

When will I ever learn?



From time-to-time, there comes an impulse make a courageous, irrational attempt to test the limits of my body and it always give unhappy endings. Knowing that I am allergic to almost everything except air and water, why on earth did I touch the glass of Volka for? At that time, it seemed innocuous and that drink even tasted bland. I felt strong. I was among friends.


Merely one hour later, the itch was all over my back. My friends were helping me to scratch, yes, right in the club.


The next day, skin rashes appear all over my back, my legs and hands. Then the pin prick sensation began. Today, the third day, with 3 antihistamine pills inside me, the allergic reaction continues. Yes, I know. There are 5 more days to go before things will be back to normal.

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what's wrong with me?

It isn’t about experience. It isn’t about age.

What matters is the instinct.

All these years, I thought I have been doing a lot to cultivate a perfect relationship. After learning others’ experience, now I shamefully realize what I had been doing was so insufficient. Obviously my best is not good enough. What’s wrong with me?

It is about plunging your whole self into it without calculating the returns.

It is about sharing a life to its fullest as if tomorrow will not come.

It is about giving the better than the best. It is about that person matters more to your own self.

There is no room for parsimony. Obviously I have a deficiency. It is only right that I am the one to be blamed for my misery.

7th month

It is the 7th month in the lunar year. This month is also called ”The Hungry Ghost Festival”, when the gates of hell is opened to allow the souls of the dead to roam the earth. My mother used to warn me not to stay out late at night during this month. Swimming is also a no-no.

Something eerie happened a few nights ago. At about 1 am, I was abruptly awaken by a sharp smash. Jumping out of bed, I dashed to my mother’s bedroom in a spilt second. With the lights switched on, a glass cup was found shattered on the floor. Both mum and Sutiyah were sleeping when the incident happened. There was no earthquake. There was no rats or pets in the house. How did the glass cup got propelled out of the table top?

Next thing.... my bedroom window panel was flipped up but some time later, I found them fully flipped down.  Well that could be the result of a kaypo neighbour......hopefully..

Was it a sign or a warning or a message? Don't think so and I do not want complications. Anyway I was not scared. I have been staying in this apartment for the past 20 years. I am sure we are well protected. We will not be harmed. Probably it was a playful act. By who or what, I do not want to know.

Photogenic

My friend S was admiring his own photos. “I don’t usually look good in photo. This is one of the few photos that I am pleased with how I look. I guess I am not photogenic.” He told me.


“Then you should be happy.” I replied. While non photogenic means you do not look good in photos, it also implies that you are better looking in real person. So next time when someone says you are not photogenic, actually it is a compliment.


Likewise, don’t be so happy when someone tells you that you are photogenic. It means that you look good only in photos. That is not the real you. In actual fact, you are ugly :P