Self Denial

Looking into the mirror, Alice says to herself, “I am not fat. My friend Suzy is fatter than I am.” Whether Suzy is actually fatter is not important. The reality is: Alice is seriously overweight.


And that is not Alice’s real problem.
Like so many people, self denial prevents Alice to give a truthful judgement on herself. She cannot achieve any friendship in her forty years of life. There’s not a single friend. Why? “All people are so wicked, they are bad towards me. They are not worth being friends with.” She says. What about your failed relationships? “Those guys are bad, they only want to make use of me.”

It is easy to put all the blame on others, isn’t it? It would be so much easier if we are completely honest to ourselves, our defects, our merits, our problems. Why fool yourself?


The point of no return has now arrived. Not only is she hysterical, perpetually suspects that her daily movements are being observed and analysed, she possesses signs of schizophrenia: disorganised speech and behaviour, hallucination. There is always something going on in the mind. All sorts of things.

“If I says YES, what would his reply be? If he replies A, how should I respond?”
“If I says NO, what would his reply be? If he replies A, how should I respond? What if he replies B? What if he does not reply at all? What happens if he replies one day later? I would have reminded him. Then what he would think of me?” it permutation goes on and on, eating into the brain, laying off her sleep.


There is still hope for medical help now provided that she is willing to. “No, there is nothing wrong with me. I am perfectly happy and well.” Then why you cry and wail for hours everyday for the past 2 months? No normal person does that.


“I am well, perfectly well. Suzy is not. I am well.”


Ps : The names mentioned above are fictitious.



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Kim Kardashian

Can someone please stop this insanity? Or at least put some sense to this unwanted invasion?


I know that sometimes redundant news are pulled in to fill the papers or magazines, (because A-list celebrities can be busy having babies, preparing for a movie role, or upgrading themselves) but do we really need to have Kim Kardashian every day? Seriously? Her publicist deserves a raise for working this hard to get her mentioned in every gossip reading material on this planet on a daily basis.

Yesterday it was about Kim trying to block the sale of her sex tape, today is regarding her bitter row with her brother. Her multifarious way to make headlines is comparable to Lady GaGa’s costume change. I noticed the title but not the article as nothing of this neither talented nor interesting girl could amuse me.

By the way, Kim Kardashian who? She is not an actress or a singer. However, she is a good student, learning well from the previous “news queen” title holder, Paris Hilton. What these girls are thinking? What do they get from having huge media coverage? Or the blame is on the journalists? If they think we need such characters to boost our self esteem, then they can bang their head against the truck… just to wake up.

No, the world does not need Kim Kardashian.

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911 - 10th anniversary

As we approach the 10^th years after that shocking terror attack in New York, documentary films flock the tv channels : Interviews of the victims, their family members, comments given by mayors, religious leaders and of course the inevitable horrific images of the collapse of the twin tower. It is without doubt one of the most grievous incident of the century. The program is now being watched in the tv as I write this. Fortunately the tv room is at the other side of the house.  No, I cannot bring myself to watch the painful tragedy again.

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MTV VMA 2011

last week’s MTV VMA 2011 was such a joy to watch. Apart from the performers giving their best in front of the audience and above all, their peers, it seemed like a big party with old friends enjoying themselves on stage and in the audience’s seats. Artists of every genre laughed at themselves, not taking themselves seriously. There was no tension and no apparent rivalry. They expressed mutual respect for each other’s talent and hard work.  The arrival to the award had been toiling. Everyone knew that. Everyone had been through the hard struggle to fame. That is what music is all about. To bring everyone together. To celebrate life.

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Italian and Swiss drivers

Walking the streets of Ticino province, (Southern part of Switzerland, border with Italy) it is easy to distinguish Italian drivers from the Swiss. The Italians drive at a faster speed and often talking with one hand holding his cellular phone, the other hand on the steering wheel. If they are not smoking, they will be chewing a gum with hostility. You can hear their car growl urgently from afar.


The Swiss drivers treat their cars much better. Not only they are gentler and slower, they are quieter. They do not play loud music with their windows down. However, the Swiss are very bad in orientation. Once outside their country, they have difficulties with directions and remembering them in subsequent visits.

Another litmus test: try stopping by a zebra crossing. Approaching Italian cars will accelerate, one after the other as if you are invisible. The Swiss cars will stop waiting for you way before you arrive the zebra crossing.

Sit and wait for a miracle

Very often when the economy is not going well, the government is not all to be blamed. Everyone in the country has a vital role to play in order to make things work. From the day when China was admitted into the WTO, it gave an ultimate push for her to strive. In 15 years’ time, the country has transformed from a sleeping communist snake into the world’s second biggest economy dragon. A vital part in its success is owed to its people’s desire to excel.


This should be a good example to some countries, which for more than a decade is still trying to achieve beyond 1% GDP. It is quite impossible with its people’s reluctance to work. Below is an example of what happened when I telephoned a property agency on a Monday morning, in the hope to obtain more information concerning one of their apartments on sale.

Ringggg ringggggg…. (no answer)….

Tick! There came a dry voice:
“Good morning. Please leave a message ONLY if you have prior appointments with us or if you have ongoing transaction. Beep!”

!!!!! So what happens to new clients? Aren’t they interested? What about other customers who have other needs? Why there isn’t anyone answering the phone? Why isn’t the call deviated?

Another example on yesterday.

We arrived in front of the post office at 2 pm. The door was closed with a hand written note: Opening hours for summer 8.30am – 12.45 pm. Afternoon is closed.


How can a post office be working on a half-day’s basis for the whole summer? Ah…. That explained why this country will never gain back on its feet.

New Chairs

If you wait long enough, sometimes you get the things you want. Today is one of those days.


I jumped so high and smiled so wide at the sight of the sign board in the department store. ¼. “What is that?” you ask. That is the number that I was hoping since a few months ago. Originally there was no sign board, later there was one that read ½ and now ¼. Actually it means a quarter of the original selling price or 75% discount.

From where I come from, such hefty discounts is unheard of. People crash doors and make overnight queues for a discount of just 40%. At the snap of the fingers, I ordered 6 ash wood chairs for the kitchen and another 6 birch wood chairs for the dinning table. I am not impulsive or crazy. Actually I have been eyeing those 2 models for quite some time. Do you know how much I have saved? SGD2674.00 (Euro 1564.00) It feels like winning a lottery.

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Best things in life are free

They say it more often than ever: Everything comes with a price tag. Soon we will be charged for the air we breathe. Indeed. So it was with immerse joy that I came across something completely free of charge this morning.



On my way home from the supermarket, I noticed a mulberry (or Blackberry) on the ground. It is just one tiny mulberry. What’s so special about it? But it is strange for it to exist in the middle of nowhere, a rural passage with only speeding cars. There is no bus stop, no habitation, no pedestrian. I stopped my bicycle only to find a whole stretch of hedgerow by the side of the road. I looked closer and yes, they are mulberries alright. WOW. Grown in the wild, nourished by the nature. Just waiting to be picked. I bagged a handful carefully, trying not to be hurt by the thorns. Some of them are real big in size. The ripe ones disintegrated between my fingers. But most of them are just perfect for consumption. Today is the day. I was at the right place at the right time. How fortunate!


I am thankful, so thankful. Such luck doesn’t come by often to me. So, should I go again tomorrow? I need a kilogram of fruit to make mulberry jam.

The mulberries that I've picked today !

My new bicycle

After my second scooter bike broke down for the nth time, I decided that enough is enough. No more spending money infinitely on repairing it. Not to mention about the bike choked and died in the middle of nowhere and the fatigue of having to push it for kilometres to the next workshop.


For years, I relied on public transport and a major part of my calf muscles to get around, till last Tuesday, the day I bought a new bicycle. It was indeed a wise acquisition. Now there is no need to observe the time schedule of the buses anymore. Time saving. Environment friendly. Easy on the wallet. Most importantly, I embrace the sense of freedom. Sometimes all it takes is just a little to change one’s life.

If I need your opinion, I'll ask for it.

I may not always right, but I am not always wrong.


Yet ever so often, there are some people who always have an opinion or advice ready at hand to dish out. As if he has all the answers in the world, albeit having no relative experience in the subject.

“why don’t you…….?”
“You should have …..”

What are they thinking? That I am completely stupid and incapable to live my life? Come on darling. I have already lived two quarters of my life span. The fact that I am still around kicking, I must have done something right. Most of the time, I nod my head in agreement. Occasionally I will also exclaim “Really?” “I see”. That is because I am giving them a chance to shine. The world has too many speakers and too few listeners. I adopt the latter role to be in good company so that our gathering could be a harmonious one. No confrontation is also a quick way to end their speech.

I really hope those “opinionists” read this. Then they will realise that they are not the smartest around. Some asses could be smart by pretending to be not.

Garlic flower

This is the garlic flower I mentioned earlier. It is bloosomed in my garden !

Me, the spy to be

Hey people, too much tv is really bad for you.


After a few seasons of a spy tv series, the thought of being a spy is slowing creeping its way into me. How exciting it is to go under cover with a new identity, to plant a tracking device in the bedroom, to locate a ticking bomb, to interrogate for useful information and eventually to assume a vital role in stopping terrorism. To achieve greatness. Wow.

Those black suits and black shoes are so cool, they definitely look good on me or I look good in them. Add on a pair of dark sunglasses. I can so get use to this.

Cranky old man

Before you say it, let me be the first one to admit it. It was not intentional. Unfortunately it happened. I am officially becoming a cranky old man.

Surely you have noticed that I did nothing but grumbling in my blog recently. Unhappy of this, disapprove that, irritated by all etc. Be assured that I was nothing like this in the past. I used to be as sweet as an angel, really. Unfortunately, my recent daily exercise has become nagging and complaining. How repulsive.

Oops. Did I just complained EVEN about myself?

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Abiding or being stupid?

We Singaporeans, among other things, are famous for obeying the law. Perhaps a little exaggerated at times. How often do you see a big group of pedestrian waiting for the traffic light to turn green before crossing the street, even when there is WITHOUT a single approaching car at sight? The road is empty and liberal. There is enough time to walk across it and back two times yet everyone remains where they are. It is taught to cross the road only when the light is green, so it shall be observed.


Abiding rules is a virtue. Following rules blindly without executing one’s common sense is stupidity. If there is not a single car, why can’t we cross the road? Why wait 3 minutes for nothing? The most absurd thing is: nobody realizes how absurd the whole situation is.

In my neighborhood, there is a narrow two-way road. (only one lane on each way) One day, two cars were approaching. Ahead of them, a rubbish cart was crawling hesitantly. The two cars tagged along obediently at a snail’s pace. After a couple of minutes, the driver of the car became impatient at the situation so she horned “poo poo poo”, urging the rubbish cart to speed up. But rubbish carts, built to transport trash, are not equipped with motors than run any faster than a bicycle. Why can’t the drivers of both cars just over take it? After all, the road was completely empty. If that is not stupidity, you tell me what it is.

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Blossom in Spring

The bulbs that I’ve planted this winter have sprouted. Beautiful tulips in reds and pink. I should have ignored the producers’ instructions and have planted them more closely together so that they are compact like bouquets of flowers.

I am still waiting for the garlic flower to bloom. I have never seen one but have heard that they are magnificent. Just give me a couple of weeks to see a photo of it.

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My heart is with Japan

I have no words nor comments about the devastating situation in Japan. What can I say, what should I say except to grief. Losing life is emotional shattering. This is not a Hollywood film. This is real. Many people in other countries started fund raising campaigns. Initial it seems stupid because money does not grant much comfort to the victims. On the other hand, what can people from abroad do? How much can be done from such a distance away?

Human’s memory is short. Already news broadcast on the status is diminishing. Reports on the nuclear leakage and radiation are confusing. Some declare it has successfully been stopped. Some announce that it has spread across even to UK.

Knowing Japan and the Japanese, I believe that this tragedy will eventually end up well and soon.

Awfully Chocolate

So much have been heard about it. The unique shop display, their marketing concept, their specially imported chocolate, their success story and of course their chocolate cake.

My friend said : “Whenever we celebrate any occasion in the office, my boss insists that I order cakes only from ‘Awfully Chocolate’.” So there it goes, the ultimate chocolate cake in town.

Happily and carefully, I fetched it back with both hands, like a precious thin foil of gold. I even invited 2 friends for a cake appreciation ceremony. One bite into it and there was silence……..

For 5 seconds….

Before the cursing began. Whoever hailed it as the best chocolate cake ever has obviously never eaten enough chocolate cakes in his life. (or was being paid to broadcast it) Surely there is a taste of chocolate but where is the intense aroma? The explosion of sharp bliss? The sinful luscious flavor ? the complex layers of the unique nuttiness? The velvety texture? The lingering after taste? And concerning the sponge cake which the chocolates covered, It was dry and stale. In another words, this is just a honest, ordinary chocolate cake. Honest because the chocolate content is real and not artificially flavored. That’s all.

High expectation comes with high delusion. And it is costly.

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Vanity is an inborn thing

If you call me stupid, I’ll admit it. If you say I am ugly, I’ll shrug it off. But if you mention about the dark pigment on my face, I will go for the kill. Well, everyone has his Achilles heel.

Each day when I look myself in the mirror, all that appear to my eyes are melasma patches and nothing else. Pathetic right? I am not someone who will let things bother me without doing nothing. However IPL, laser treatment, creams, mountain tribes’ formula all just don’t work. At this stage if swimming in bleach water is a proven remedy, I’ll jump into the pool in half a heart beat.

Today, this doctor prescribed me a night cream that contains hydroquinone and tretinoin. For a modest price. I’ll let you know if it works.

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Uniquely Singaporean

Comparing to neighboring Asian cities like Tokyo, Hong Kong, Taipei, Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur, Singapore wins by a mile, perhaps even two. In every train at any time of the day, any day of the week, more than a quarter of the seated commuters will be found sleeping on their seat. (another 50% will be either sending short messages or playing with their mobile phone) Although oblivious to the surrounding especially the presence of elder weak passengers, these commuters are so well trained, they never fail to wake up in time to alight at their desired destination. That is quite a ninja skill.

People rarely sleeps in the train, not even in hot cities like Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. So what makes it so special in Singapore? Do the people in Singapore work harder, that makes them more easily tired? Are there some toxic gas in the air conditional system? Is everyone practicing some kind of special Qi Gong? Is social etiquette an alien thing in this country? Well for whatever reason it is, I rather drink acid than be caught on photo like this :

        or this :

Batu Caves

I’ve seen the photos. I’ve heard about the trip. But visiting the actual site is something else. Looking up at the 272 steps of stairs, I wondered if I was overly ambitious. As I prayed that vertigo will not take over me, I made my first step. Overcoming the fright of height was not difficult actually, as long as I don’t look back. Meeting descending visitors was slightly challenging. I had to fake a nonchalance expression while I battled sideways in order to give way to them. They must have thought that I was brave. Oh, they will never know the truth. The last few steps were particularly strenuous as I was reminded by my jelly-like trembling legs that I should have taken my step classes more seriously.

Entering the cave was nothing short of magical. It makes every effort worthwhile. There is a surreal peace and tranquility in the air, mixed with a faint incense. From far away came a soft chanting accompanied by an occasional strike of gong and bells. The world become so beautiful and simple. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to visit.

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My future business

If I have enough money, I would start a new business specialized in massage. No, not foot massage or body massage. These are so déjà vu and so common. Okay, I agree to share my vision with you without any copyright fee. Just include my name in your will.


Well, it is finger massage. Hey, don’t shut me out so soon. I have a logic to back me up.

Haven’t you notice that everyone is busy texting messages or chatting in msn? In the bus stop, in the trains, in the lift, in the supermarket queue, in the cinema, in dance clubs, in the toilet. (For your information, I did not peep in the cubicle, I just recognize the tabbing sound of the mobile phone) A girl at the bus stop this afternoon was writing her message so fast, I almost thought she was scratching her mobile phone, easing it from a mosquitoes bite.

With overworked fingers like that, certainly they will get fatigue by the end of the day. Swollen, stiff and inflexible are the common complains. Although the fingers will eventually become more developed than the mouth or brain, they will also degenerate sooner. So here comes the benefit of fingers massage! We use fingers to massage fingers. No tool or electronic device will be used. There is a choice of hot oil, essential oil or the normal cheap sticky oil. Traditional Thai style or Swedish style? It is up to you. Customers can choose the course of 20 minutes or 40 minutes or 60 minutes. (Provided that their finger is able to point correctly at the sign board to indicate what they want)

Junk mails

Honestly if I could, I would light a match and burn all these mails away. I didn’t do it merely because that would mean cleaning up the place and painting the wall afterwards. 2 weeks away from home and look what a pile of letters I got when I returned. There are enough papers to open a book store! Well, not exactly but we are nearly there.


Is it possible that they don’t understand that I have no plan to sell the only house I am living in? What is the use of sending me flyers about the price of HDB apartments? Oh, the insurance company is worth a mention too. If I have half of their persistence, I would have moved the mount faber, alone. No joke. Then the unit trust who delivers stacks and stacks of their financial reports. Who can understand those figures? If I do, do you think would I be foolish enough to buy them in the first lace? So far, for what I have invested, I received no returns, just trash papers that are too hard to wipe my ass.

For the sake of the poor post man, please stop posting out nonsense. Also for the sake of the environment, avoid chopping unnecessary trees for paper making.

PS : if I ignore the bills, it is obvious that I have no intention to pay it. Isn’t it redundant to drop me continuous reminders?

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Things that I've learned in year 2010

- That I am capable to love more than I ever thought I could be

- That I am loved so deeply so eternally.

- That no matter how strong and how much you cover yourself, a flu virus can always find its way to penetrate your defense system

- That fish don’t taste well with cheese

- That very few jokes make me laugh

- That Italy is not a place I want to live

- That Thai basil is a luxury in the kitchen

- That losing weight is so easy

- That toilet paper is one of the most essential things in life

- And so is the tv program “X factor” and “Jamie Oliver”

- That the neighbor’s dog is an opportunist. It comes only when you have a snack in hand for him.

- That Verbena is a wonderful plant and a healthy tea.

- That talk is cheap, which explains why there is so many.

- That it is no point lamenting about your politicians. If they are there, it is because the population have voted for them.

- That it always rain where it is already wet.

Request

Today I received an email asking if I can give help financially. Well, he is not the first person. Occasionally, I get requests like that.


For whatever reason people should think that I have that capability, puzzles me.
Could it be my looks? Then I thank you, even though I wonder if there is such a thing as “rich look”.
Or due to the clothes I wear? Do clothes from the local street market count?
The lifestyle that I lead? What lifestyle? I don’t even have a job.

Loser

In monitoring my cholesterol and triglycerides level, I have been avoiding certain food like fats, butter, dairy products etc. Unfortunately, as we all notice, delicious food are always and I stress the word ALWAYS bad for our health.


It is Christmas and delicacies are everywhere. One bite into a rich chocolate cakes won’t hurt. What I did not expect was that tiny indulgence, like a hole in the dam, burst into a big tunnel and crashes everything. All the will power and discipline that I carefully acquired suddenly break free. Another bite on the almond cream pie should be alright. One more piece of the roast pork is nothing. By then, I just threw the diet plan away. Why am I always such a loser?

Friends coming for dinner

What are you doing at the end of the year? A few of my friends asked. It is one of the occasions where nobody wants to stay home alone. It is also one of those rare occasions when we realize how few friends we really have. I mean friend whom you think worthwhile to be with on New Year’s eve. People whom you like to kiss and greet “Happy New Year” right after the countdown.


“Why don’t you come over?” I asked. “I will gather a few friends for buffet dinner.”

It is always an honor when friends come over. No, it is not a trouble for me at all. I don’t live next door to them. In fact, to come here, they have to drive 50 km in the cold and slippery road. They also have to battle the night for same distance back home. So when they visit me, I feel so privileged. I do not have caviar nor expensive champagne. But I offer whatever best I could. So what if I have to go a few rounds at the supermarket or prepare some food? My friends are coming for dinner !


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