Self Denial

Looking into the mirror, Alice says to herself, “I am not fat. My friend Suzy is fatter than I am.” Whether Suzy is actually fatter is not important. The reality is: Alice is seriously overweight.


And that is not Alice’s real problem.
Like so many people, self denial prevents Alice to give a truthful judgement on herself. She cannot achieve any friendship in her forty years of life. There’s not a single friend. Why? “All people are so wicked, they are bad towards me. They are not worth being friends with.” She says. What about your failed relationships? “Those guys are bad, they only want to make use of me.”

It is easy to put all the blame on others, isn’t it? It would be so much easier if we are completely honest to ourselves, our defects, our merits, our problems. Why fool yourself?


The point of no return has now arrived. Not only is she hysterical, perpetually suspects that her daily movements are being observed and analysed, she possesses signs of schizophrenia: disorganised speech and behaviour, hallucination. There is always something going on in the mind. All sorts of things.

“If I says YES, what would his reply be? If he replies A, how should I respond?”
“If I says NO, what would his reply be? If he replies A, how should I respond? What if he replies B? What if he does not reply at all? What happens if he replies one day later? I would have reminded him. Then what he would think of me?” it permutation goes on and on, eating into the brain, laying off her sleep.


There is still hope for medical help now provided that she is willing to. “No, there is nothing wrong with me. I am perfectly happy and well.” Then why you cry and wail for hours everyday for the past 2 months? No normal person does that.


“I am well, perfectly well. Suzy is not. I am well.”


Ps : The names mentioned above are fictitious.



.