Our best time together

This could be our best time together. I want it to be our best no matter how short the duration will be.

Mum is eating less and speak even lesser. With both eyes closed, she secludes herself on bed most of the time. She does not want to sit nor is interested to watch her favourite tv program. What I fear most seems to be approaching. Maybe she knows it too.

The past 2 months has been devastating. I was insane, depressed and unprepared for what was happening. My one and only emotional support has refused to show up. Apart from grieving, there was nothing I could do.

But all these has to end. Firstly I want to make use of the limited time to tell mum how much I loved her. The word “love” always sounded so squeamish to me. Hence I had never told her enough. It would be nice to hear her telling me that too even though it is not necessary because her selfless love for me is overwhelming and omnipresent.

I want to ask for her forgiveness for not being successful in my life so that she can be proud of. I am sorry for things that I said that sadden her. I want to assure her that I will be able to take care of myself and be strong enough not to let anyone hurt me. I will protect myself just like she would protect me.
So dear mum,
I will execute my ulterior patience to speak to you nicely. We can look at the photos that we have taken during our vacations. We will count the papayas on the tree and the wild cats in the neighbourhood while I push your wheelchair. You would smile when we do exercises. We can still do so much together.